Some of my favorite Corner Gas bits:
Karen Pelly: I got a riddle for you, Hank. Okay. A plane crashes on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the survivors?
Hank Yarbo: Hmmm. Tough one. Right on the border, huh? Well, is there one larger chunk of the airplane on one side?
Karen Pelly: No. It's broken directly in half, distributed over the two sides.
Hank Yarbo: Wow, that's really tough.
Karen Pelly: [Repeats herself] A plane crashes directly on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the SURVIVORS?
Hank Yarbo: OHHHHH! The *survivors*.
[pause]
Hank Yarbo: Bury one on each side.
Oscar Leroy: Let me answer that question with another question: Shut up!
Brent LeRoy: [in Dog River's extremely small library] Hey Alice, I was wondering if...
Alice: Shh!
Brent LeRoy: Pardon?
Alice: [whispering] This is a library. Shh!
Brent LeRoy: Well, we're the only ones in here.
Alice: [whispering] I'm sorry Brent, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you don't keep it down.
Brent LeRoy: [whispering] Okay, I was just wondering if you had a book on child psychology.
Alice: [still whispering] On what?
Brent LeRoy: [still whispering] Child psychology.
Alice: [still whispering] "Jives on top of me"?
Brent LeRoy: [sarcastically] That's right Alice, I want a book about jives on top of you.
Oscar Leroy: Don't come crying to me when you need a fuzzy red lobster!
Hank Yarbo: [Brent and Hank are wearing the same shirt] Look at us, we're identical!
Brent LeRoy: We're not identical, I have different pants than you.
Hank Yarbo: Yeah, I don't even wanna get into your pants.
Brent LeRoy: You're not gonna with that kinda whining.
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