Ode to a Honeycrisp Apple

The sound of fall
Not falling leaves or trick-or-treaters
But a bite of you, dear apple,
Your could not be sweeter.

All year I pine
And wait anxiously for your arrival
Tolerating other tastes
Biding my time; it is pure survival.

Then the signs appear--
Oh what joy and rapture are mine--
To see you in the market
Bringing arm-fulls of you to my home to dine.

Lugano, Switzerland -- 7, Team Trish&Adele -- 0

Point 1 for Switzerland: No stamp in our passports. The border control guys just waved us through in a secret, "don't tell the boss but you can just go on in" kind of way. Sheesh.

Point 2: Switzerland, which I thought was part of the European Union and accepted Euros as its only currency, has in addition to the Euro, its own special currency: the Swiss Frank. Which wouldn't have been a problem except all of the parking spots we saw had meters that only accepted the Swiss Frank ($2 coin) and I didn't have any of those. And this led eventually to...

Point 3: Trish and I were so frustrated by this time that we pulled into the first non "Privato" Autosilo we saw. That happened to be, we later realized (see point 4) was for a grocery store.

Point 4: After an expensive meal (do you know what the exchange rate is for Swiss Franks? NOT GOOD!) with a cranky waitress who took 30 minutes to bring us our check, we walked back to the Autosilo where we'd parked...and to our utter HORROR, discovered that it was closed--as in "no entry, no other way in, must wait until this place opens again to get your car" CLOSED. We'd missed it by 15 minutes!

Point 5: And then, to make matters even worse, we figured out that the grocery store (and thus by extension the parking garage) would not reopen until MONDAY morning. Yes, folks, that's right: we had to wait about 36 hours until we could get the car again...that's if it hadn't been towed already....

Point 6: There wasn't a phone number anywhere to be found on or near the garage or the store front--but it wouldn't have mattered anyway because my new fancy global BlackBerry unit didn't have service, despite its fanciness. And the battery died because it takes a lot of power for the fancy phone to sit in my purse and tell time. And because my fancy phone was dead, we couldn't call our Field Relations Manager, Walter, who lives close to Milan to help us out. We were completely on our own. (Did I mention that by this time, it was 10:45pm...and we were in another country...alone...?)

Point 7--Winning Point: This point was an 'assist' by a series of unfortunate events that occurred in Milan. I will not bore you with the details of the long ordeal right now; let's just say that it took us 3 1/2 hours to get from the central train station in Milan to our hotel--a journey that by taxi took 5 minutes. This "detour" involved an eccentric old Italian man who didn't understand English, getting a personalized night tour of Milanese historic locations, "sans gluten free" bread sticks that tasted like burnt toast and rosemary, and an Obama-loving, chain-smoking teenager who ended up being a knight in a shining hoody.

Game Summary: Though Lugano was beautiful (and if you take the train tour, you'll find out from the 'Ukranian' driver that it even has its own swimming pool...), I don't think I'll be visiting there again....well, except for tomorrow morning when we go to pick up our rental car.

Good job, thank you very much, amen.

Ciao, Italia!

So, I'm here. In Italy. And I love it!

Tomorrow morning (it's 11:30pm here in Milan) I'll write a longer post with pictures and a verbose, "bowl-minded" narrative about what I've experienced. For now, here are the stats:

• Amount of time that my new global BlackBerry device has worked since we left the United States: 0 hours and 0 minutes 
• Number of connections to fly to Milan: 3 (SLC to Minneapolis...to Amsterdam...to Milan)
• Hours it took to travel from SLC to Milan: 17.5
• Number of wrong turns we took while trying to drive to the hotel in our little Fiat: 3 7,000 (which is code for too many to count)
• Number of hours in Italy (thus far): 13
• Total count of Gelaterias visited in the last 10 hours: 2
• Gelato flavors sampled: 5
• Fragola [FRAH-go-la] (strawberry)
• Pistacchio [pee-STAHK-yoh] (pistachio) -- 2 times
• Mango (mango)
• Stracciatella [strah-cha-TEL-lah] (like a chocolate chip ice cream) -- 2 times
• Limone [Lee-MON-ay] (lemon)

It's All About Me

This morning on the commute to work, I was thinking about ... well, me, actually, and about who I am, what I like, what makes me tick (so-to-speak), and all of that.

My thoughts led me to remember a part of the movie Runaway Bride where Maggie (Julia Roberts) cooks and samples various types of eggs, attempting to finally determine for herself what kind of eggs she likes. It is a profound moment when she begins to know herself and assert her identity, ceasing to rely on others to create an identity for her. She then returns to the man she's truly in love with, Ike (Richard Gere), to share her discovery:

Maggie Carpenter: Benedict.
Ike Graham: Arnold.
Maggie Carpenter: I love Eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind. I hate big weddings with everybody staring. I'd like to get married on a weekday while everybody's at work. And when I ride off into the sunset, I want my own horse.
Ike Graham: Should I be writing this down?

Maggie had become a chameleon--taking on whatever personality and/or desires was around her. For many years, I did the same: I didn't feel that it was "okay" to just be me, so I played the role of whoever people wanted me to be. I, like Maggie, had to test the waters (or the eggs) to finally figure out who *I* was--and to feel comfortable just being me, whoever I was.

Here's who I am, for better or for worse:

• I like scrambled eggs; don't like runny egg yolk.
• My favorite city in the United States is Boston.
• I love Harley Davidson motorcycles.
• One of my favorite activities is reading greeting cards and finding the "perfect" ones for friends and family.
• I love camping and hiking but I don't know how to build a good fire (I usually let someone else do that).
• I collect inspirational quotes, talks, and devotionals.
• I am (in)famous for food cravings: I have "food phases" where I crave a certain food constantly. E.g. Barbara's Cheese Puffs, Old Wisconsin Beef Jerky, vanilla soft serve ice cream, fish and chips from Arctic Circle, Super Pretzels, etc.
• Hip hop and hula dancing are my favorite types of dancing. I also love ballroom dancing and want to do more of it, but I don't have a partner.
• I'm a word nerd: I love to learn and use big words. (I subscribe to Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day).
• One of my goals is to visit as many LDS temples in the world as possible.
• Although I can do things on my own (and I usually do them well), I'd prefer to have help--someone I can count on to be there for me.
• I hate crying. When I cry, I claim that I have "allergies."
• At a restaurant, I usually order the same thing every time.
• I am addicted to Orbtiz gum; Strawberry Mint, Mint Mojito, and/or Maui Melon Mint are my preferred flavors.
• I love to learn.
• Someday I want to be financially in a position where I can donate the majority of my time and money to serving others and meeting their needs.
• A well-placed comma makes me happy.
• I have no interest in going to France. (Sorry, Doug!) When I planned my trip to Germany and Austria last year, I purposely avoided having a layover in Paris.
• I am not a fan of scrapbooking (primarily because I don't think I'm very creative). I also do not like parades or fireworks (when you've seen one, you've seen them all), raw tomatoes, raw oranges, artifical banana or grape flavors, and diet soda.
• I want my house to be as temple-like as possible, so I have/am investing a lot of time and money into decorating, including purchasing high-quality, sacred artwork.
• I am OCD about a dirty house because of the house I grew up in.
• I hate making the bed.
• I clean my toilets every week.
• A "closet" goal I have is to someday be influential among women--to speak, write, and teach--like Sheri Dew, Julie B. Beck, and women like them.
• I love sheep and collect them (not the actually sheep, but items with their likeness).
• It is very validating when someone thinks I'm funny, especially if it is someone I respect/admire.
• I feel loved when I feel understood. When someone knows me well enough to order at a restaurant or pick out a personalized gift for me, I feel validated and important.
• I don't love animals, although I'm starting to like them more, thanks to Simon Geilman.

• I am a planner by nature but am trying to become more spontaneous, to "fly by the seat of my pants" (with or without a light, haha). Doing so, however, requires tremendous trust, and I'm struggling to let go of the (albeit false idea of) security I feel in planning ahead.
• I would love to live abroad and give my children international experience--would love for them to speak one or more foreign languages.
• I love to cook and create my own recipes...but I hate cooking for one, so I usually end up getting take-out.
• Although I value emotional/physical/spiritual intimacy, I keep most people at a distance. I want and need to regularly feel the same security I feel when my father hugs me...but I'm afraid to open up, to allow people close enough, and/or to ask those closest to me for what I need.
• Teasing someone is one way I show love. Another way is by remembering birthdays and other special events.

Like a Child at Home

I love music, especially sacred music. One of the greatest joys in life is to hear music that uplifts, inspires, and teaches. How joyful I feel when I hear someone sing the very words my soul wants to express.

"My Shepherd Will Supply My Need" is one of these joyful tender mercies for me. All of the words are the testimony I wish to sing of my Savior. However, the last stanza encapsulates the deepest desire of my heart: to feel safe, secure, comfortable, wanted, and loved, like a child at home would feel.

My Shepherd will supply my need,
Jehovah is His name.
In pastures fresh He makes me feed,
Beside the living stream.

He brings my wand’ring spirit back,
When I forsake His ways.
And leads me for His mercy’s sake
In paths of truth and grace.

When I walk through the shades of death
Thy presence is my stay.
One word of Thy supporting breath
Drives all my fears away.

Thy hand in sight of all my foes,
Doth still my table spread.
My cup with blessings overflows,
Thine oil anoints my head.

The sure provisions of my God
Attend me all my days.
O may Thy house be my abode,
And all my work be praise.

There would I find a settled rest,
While others go and come.
No more a stranger nor a guest,
But like a child at home.

These words echo in my heart and cause it to yearn to feel that "settled rest" with Heavenly Father and the Savior. To this point in my life, I have never felt settled; I've always had to take care of myself and to struggle just to survive. My weary soul rejoices at the very idea of resting, of securing a place where I belong, a place where I am not treated as a stranger or a guest but "like a child at home."

What would that look like (feeling safe "like a child at home")? I can only imagine....

Prone to Leave the God I Love

The lyrics of "Come, thou fount" continue to resonate in my mind. I am especially fixed on the phrase "prone to leave the God I love." How very accurate those words are to describe my actions, especially right now.

I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I have a deep, solid testimony of the Gospel and of Them. However, as was recently evidenced, when I am feeling keenly vulnerable and the fear/panic begins to escalate, my tendency is to abandon the Savior instead of running to Him--which is terribly ironic because my fear is to be abandoned, yet that is exactly what I am doing to Him!

Prone to Wander

Yesterday after church, I spent an hour just sitting on the grounds of one of the local LDS temples. (I am grateful that that is an option for me!) As I pondered, to my mind came the words of one of my favorite hymns, "Come, thou Fount of every blessing." The words ring true for me, especially the part about how I am "prone to wander" and "leave the God I love."

Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.

Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.