You Speak My Language

You Speak My Language

You watched me from above.
I reached out for you but dared not speak--
Yet you knew the words
My mouth could not utter:

Need.
Help.
Hurt.
Heartache.
Lost.

A linguist of love,
You articulate healing with
Every blink and syllable.
What name have I for you,
My cherished helper?
Only one:
Friend.

Awesome Things

A friend sent me a link to a website called 1000 Awesome Things. It's a substantial list--1,000 to be exact--and has some very interesting entries. Reading through the list led me to ruminate on the 'awesome things' in my life. What awesome things do I see, experience, or enjoy in my life? I decided to create a list of my own.

• The feeling of calm and peace I feel when I'm in the temple. (This is especially blissful since I'm normally a very anxious person.)
• Hearing someone you love reciprocate with "I love you."
• The overwhelming joy and gratitude I feel when I see the Lord's hand in my life--and how He pays attention to the details.
• The feel of a down comforter wrapped around me.
• A hug from someone who possesses the 'gift of hugging' -- the security and peace I feel when wrapped in that embrace.
• Making other people laugh when I say something witty.
• Following a small impression and seeing how the Lord uses me to answer someone else's prayer.
• Dancing--anytime, anywhere--and how I can get lost in the movements and be transported to a blissful haven. 
• Playing 100 games of "Go Fish" with a nephew--and hearing his endless stream of jokes.

• Enduring to the end of a particularly harrowing experience and feeling the joy of overcoming.
• Purple. The color makes me happy.
• Losing myself in a well-written book.
• The delight of insight and making connections in the scriptures that leads to further discovery.
• The synergy and edification that occurs when discussing the Gospel with Emily and Judy. I love to learn from them!
• Chocolate chip cookies made with oatmeal (especially from Hagermann's Bakery) and cold fat-free milk. Yum!
• The turquoise water at the falls of Havasupai.   

• The endorphins surging through my body after I exercise. I feel that I could take on the world!
• Hearing my dad's voice when I call him crying. Sometimes a girl, no matter what age she is, just needs her Daddy.
• The crunch of leaves under my feet.
• The smell of lilacs. 
• Feeling the sun on my skin, especially after being in the cold, air conditioned building.
• Seeing the Lord answer my prayers and my needs through someone else.
• Singing my testimony and having the Spirit testify that what I'm singing is true.
• Sleeping in.
• Finding just the right word or phrasing to encapsulate the meaning I desire, a la Elder Neal A. Maxwell.
• My car, Chad. He is very good to me and endures well all of the stress I put on him. Plus, he likes to go fast as I do.
• Sunrise on the beach.

• A note from a friend who just wanted to say "I love you, you are important to me."
• Hearing one of my favorite songs on the radio and singing along.
• Creating. 
• Sleep.
• Someone else doing my dishes for me.
• Feeling understood and valued.
• Someone I respect wanting to spend time with me.
• Learning 'big words' and incorporating these into my vernacular.
• Cathartic writing. 
• Trees make me happy: decorating my house with pictures of them; walking through a forest of trees; seeing the first leaves sprouting in the Spring after a long winter; soaking in the breathtaking colors of leaves in the Fall; researching the ancestors in my own family tree. 

• Finding a 'kindred spirit.'
• Inside jokes. Inserting inside jokes into conversations and making someone laugh.
• Being authentic and feeling loved and accepted for who I am--feeling safe enough to 'just be.'
• Camping with my dad and sister in the backyard.
• Receiving revelation.
• Flip flops that allow my feet to not be claustrophobic.  
• A phone call from a friend I haven't talked to in many years.
• Dustin--someone who loves unconditionally and makes me feel like the most important woman in the world. I soooo love you, Dust!

Letting Go of the "Should"

I'm a big fan of Whitney Johnson's Dare to Dream blog. For over a year now, I've followed it religiously and internalized the truths shared by Whitney and the other fabulous women, which in turn intensified my desire to dare to dream.

Yet...

Yet, I still evade my dreams by applying the ubiquitous "should"--i.e. "This dream would be lovely...but I should want what I have now" or "Pursuing and fulfilling this dream would bring me so much happiness...but I should stick with what I know instead of trying something that I could fail at."

The should gets me every time. And I abhor that I allow should (and the fear that gives should its power) to persuade me to abandon my dreams and potential happiness.

Why do I empower should when doing so only enervates my ability to pursue the dreams and passions I have? What could I do to weaken the leverage should has on me, to liberate myself to pursue my dreams?