How to Make Friends: The Algorithm

Relationship Advice Remix

How to Resolve Issues: The Truth Gun

I think all arguements should be settled this way.

I Shot a Guy with a Flare Gun

One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies.

How Blogs Are Born

Hank's explanation about where blogs come from reminds me of Steve Crapo's discourse on "relationship." According to Steve, "the word relationship comes from two words: relate, which means to get to know one another, and ship, which means to journey--so a relationship is a journey to get to know one another."

When in Doubt, Pull a Panama!

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to survive. In this case, pulling a "Panama" is it.
One of my favorite movies ev-er!

You're Both Pretty...Can I Go Home Now?

"What are you sinking about?"

This is another one of those very quotable bits. It is especially hilarious to me because I speak German.

Enjoy!

I Remember

"Where were you when the Towers fell?"

That is a question people of this generation ask, just like people of my mother's generation ask "Where were you when JFK was shot?"

I'll tell you where I was when the Towers fell. I was sitting in the John A. Widstoe building on the BYU campus, waiting for my Honors New Testament class to start. Melanie, my roommate, and I had dropped her car off on Condo Row with her sisters and walked up to campus early that morning; when I got to my classroom, I had about 45 minutes until my class started so I was studying my scriptures and preparing for my day.

As I sat alone in the classroom on what seemed to be "just another day," I heard a low rumble of noise in the hallway, which I attributed to normal hallway conversation. But the low rumble grew into a clamorous distraction. Before I could stand up and walk out to the hallway to find out what was going on, a fellow student--a stranger--poked his head into the room and queried me, "Have you heard?"

"Heard what?" I responded, thinking through a short list of plausible "what" scenarios.

"The plane crash in NYC? The terrorists?" he probed.

All I could do was stare at him with terror etched in every feature. Terrorists? Plane crash? NYC? Had I fallen asleep? Was I having another one of those life-like dreams--and was I going to wake up, laugh at how real this felt, and go on my merry way of "normal life"?

Unfortunately, it was no dream. That day, September 11th, the world changed for all of us--a waking nightmare that none of us has been able to awake from.

On this day when we honor the 10th anniversary of September 11th, I remember.

I remember and honor the sacrifices made, the service given, the humanity shown, the unity displayed, and the lives lost.

I also remember today that the nightmare continues and that today as our nation remembers these events, the fight goes on: we still have men and women overseas fighting a war that commenced almost 10 years ago--men and women who have mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons, neighbors, friends, and colleagues who pray for their safe return.

I remember and pay tribute to those we've lost, to those who continue to serve, and to those who prayerfully wait. And I pray for all of them. If ever we needed to heed our nation's motto of "in God we trust," it is now. Let us remember to trust in God as this battle against terrorism continues.

"It Makes You [Laugh] and Try to Get It Out"

In the Utah vernacular, "Oh My Heck! This is flippin' awesome!"

Someone uploaded my favorite LDS video, "Mouths of Babes," to YouTube. Watch and enjoy!

I quote this all. of. the. time! Some of the best bits:

• "I seen His house before, but I don't remember. It's not far, not very far away."
• "And the water is like milk, and the bread is like...just bread."
• "...Not that the church is dirty or anything, it's just..."
• Where does God live? "California."
• "Just RANNIN' around!"
• What does that got to do with the devil? "I...don't know."
• "It just makes me hung-ry!"
• Is candy against the Word of Wisdom? "Yes, it's bad for boys 'cept it's good for girls."
• What does smokin' do? "It makes you cough and try to get it out."

The Context Is Everything

Ever wonder what he's thinking or what she's thinking? Well, in this hilarious skit from Brigham Young University's Divine Comedy, you can find out.

Note: This makes fun of a lot of Mormon (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) cultural references and stereotypes, which is why it is hilarious...but for those who aren't as familiar with the culture, it might not be as funny. You stand warned. (grin)

Kids Say (and Remember) the Funniest Things...

Today has been a monumental day. First of all, I passed out at work. (Awe.Some.) Never done that before!

Even more awesome than that: Jillian introduced me to a series of YouTube videos called "Kid History." I watched the first episode with tears streaming down my face because I was laughing so hard!

The premise of "Kid History" is to have the children recall a family story that the adults will act out--and the adults act out or mouth everything that the kids say! Huh-larious!

Check out these episodes on YouTube now! (The first one is here.) I need to catch my breath and watch the other episodes.

"Listen, I'll be honest with you: I love Jesus, but I drink a little"

I've seen this clip many times before and laughed until I cried. Just came across it again and thought I should post it.

Gladys, the caller Ellen talks to, is huh-larious. A few gems from Gladys:

• "Well, I'm sure that means something."


• "You call me anytime. Do you have my number?"

I Love...Family!

My family is dysfunctional, crazy, and sometimes unbearable. But we're also a pretty great bunch of people when we get together.

4 generations of head-strong, German women: Great Grandma (Bertie), me, Grandma (Audrey), and Mom

Holding my cousin Peter whilst my Dad holds me. (And yes, it's okay to say it: I *am* adorable, aren't I?!)

I heart my Dad. Always will.

Mom, me, and my sister (who has somehow seen fit to forgive me for teasing her that she was adopted).

Celebrating the opening of my sister's LDS mission call with our lovely grandmother.

My Dad's side of the family. A crazy bunch we are!

With my parents, grandpa, and sister at the airport before I left for my LDS mission to Colorado/Wyoming.

I Love...Laughing!

Note: NEVER e-v-e-r leave your camera alone when Casey, Amy W8, and I are around. Just sayin'... :-)

Laughing whilst dancing with Luke W.

Wet and tired, laughing with Sister Marta at Hanging Lake (Colorado).

I Love...Celebrating My Birthday Corner Gas Style!

Some of my favorite Corner Gas bits:

Karen Pelly: I got a riddle for you, Hank. Okay. A plane crashes on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the survivors?
Hank Yarbo: Hmmm. Tough one. Right on the border, huh? Well, is there one larger chunk of the airplane on one side?
Karen Pelly: No. It's broken directly in half, distributed over the two sides.
Hank Yarbo: Wow, that's really tough.
Karen Pelly: [Repeats herself] A plane crashes directly on the border of Alberta and Saskatchewan. Where do they bury the SURVIVORS?
Hank Yarbo: OHHHHH! The *survivors*.
[pause]
Hank Yarbo: Bury one on each side. 

Oscar Leroy: Let me answer that question with another question: Shut up!

Brent LeRoy: [in Dog River's extremely small library] Hey Alice, I was wondering if...
Alice: Shh!
Brent LeRoy: Pardon?
Alice: [whispering] This is a library. Shh!
Brent LeRoy: Well, we're the only ones in here.
Alice: [whispering] I'm sorry Brent, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave if you don't keep it down.
Brent LeRoy: [whispering] Okay, I was just wondering if you had a book on child psychology.
Alice: [still whispering] On what?
Brent LeRoy: [still whispering] Child psychology.
Alice: [still whispering] "Jives on top of me"?
Brent LeRoy: [sarcastically] That's right Alice, I want a book about jives on top of you. 

Oscar Leroy: Don't come crying to me when you need a fuzzy red lobster!

Hank Yarbo: [Brent and Hank are wearing the same shirt] Look at us, we're identical!
Brent LeRoy: We're not identical, I have different pants than you.
Hank Yarbo: Yeah, I don't even wanna get into your pants.
Brent LeRoy: You're not gonna with that kinda whining.

I Love...My Sister

I only have one official, biological sister (unless there's something my mother and father haven't told me, haha). That is much to my great disappointment. But even though I begged and pleaded, prayed to Heavenly Father and petitioned Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, all I got was the one sibling.

Which actually turned out just fine because my sister is amaze-balls!

We've always been close, despite the 7 years, 7 months, and 7 days difference in age.

With my sister when she returned from her LDS mission.

Holding my sister just after she was born (8 weeks premature).

Together in front of the Idaho Falls LDS temple before she left on her LDS mission.

At the Missionary Training Center (MTC) in Provo. See the orange "dork dot" on her black name tag? I had one of those too when I entered the MTC. Ah, the memories!

Just chillin'.

Chillin' some more...

I Love...People with Down syndrome!

There's such a tender place in my heart for those who are perceived as "different" and/or "unwanted" or "unlovable."  Two of my cousins (one from each side of my family) are autistic, which has brought this issue very close to home for me.

When I was at university, I had the privilege of directing a group called Unified Sports. The volunteer-led organization provided a weekly activity for people with Down syndrome and their families. It was during this wonderful time of service that my love for people with Down syndrome blossomed. Some of my fondest memories are from this special time.

Orphans with Down syndrome harrow my heart with a great force. Someday I will bring (at least) one of those precious children home to live with me. And someday I will be in a financially abundant position to enable other families to do the same.

Until those somedays...

At the Special Olympics when Dustin won (another) gold medal!

With Dustin as my "date" to a dance. (Love my crimped hair, eh?)

With Eli Rios, a previous "boyfriend" with Down syndrome. (I break the hearts of these poor boys, huh? Haha.)

With Dustin at his Eagle Scout Court of Honor. So proud of you, Dust!

I Love...Children

...Probably because I act like one most of the time, haha!

My "niece" Brooke. Love her!!!

Hangin' out on the 4-wheeler. Sooooo much fun!

Despite the "head-butt hello" from Sammy here, he's super fun to hang out with!

Holding a sleeping Jackson Keith. He smelled soooo good!

With Maddy

I Love...to Dance!

Hip hop. Hula. Irish. Folk Dance. Clogging. Lyrical jazz. Ballroom. Salsa. Ballet. I haven't yet met a form of dance I didn't like.

One of the things I miss in my workaholic life is the opportunity to dance as much as I used to. Oh sure, I dance whenever and wherever I am: clogging down the aisle at the grocery store, bustin' a move while I'm driving, practicing ballet positions while standing in line--even doing a series of Chainé turns down the hallway of my office to pick up prints from the printer (like I did today!). But it's not the same. Not sure how to incorporate dance back into my life. I might not be able to have a career as a back-up dancer for Paula Abdul/Janet Jackson or be the principal ballerina in the Nutcracker as I dreamed of doing when I was younger. Hopefully, though, I can bring the happiness of dance into my life in a more structured, consistent way.

My ballet debut in the Balloon Dance. And yes, if you ask really nicely, I'll recreate this pose for you in person. But only if you ask REALLY nicely. Ok, let's be honest: I'll do it without anyone asking!

Practicing my clogging routine in my apartment. (I'm sure my neighbors below LOVED that!)

Even on when serving my LDS mission, I couldn't NOT dance! Here I am teaching the hula to seniors at a care center where we served each week.

Happy Birthday, Poppy!

Adele with Poppy

I love you, Poppy!

I Love...NKOTB

I was converted to Blockism in 1988 with the first strains of little Joey Joe singing "Please...don't go, girrrl." From then until 1991-ish, I was a Blockhead fanatic: I wore the t-shirts and tour jackets (covered in myriad of buttons, of course); NKOTB posters, especially of Donnie, my favorite New Kid, were hung on every available wall space; my parents allowed me to camp out over night to get a good spot in line for concert tickets; I religiously watched MTV and other television programs and diligently checked newsstands for any sign of new NKOTB information or pictures; and I had the blankets, CDs, the sleeping bag, the dolls, the cartoons, the trading cards, home videos, recordings of their pay-per-view specials, etc etc etc.

When the group cancelled their July 5, 1991 (or 1992...I can't remember now) concert at Alpine Valley Amphitheater (in Wisconsin), I was devastated. And when I learned that they'd disbanded after their Face the Music album had come out, I was certain I would never recover. (LOL. Talk about being melodramatic, Anne Shirley!) Thankfully, I survived. :-D

Even if the group had not reunited in 2008, I would've continued to be a lifelong fan. Over the moves of many years, I've made the tough decisions to give away much of my NKOTB paraphernalia. However, one thing I WILL NOT EVER give away: my faded, pink NKOTB blanket. As I write this, I sit curled up with it on my bed. Maybe it's a Linus-like security blanket. Certainly, it brings great comfort and sense of security when I wrap myself in it, especially when I'm sick. All I know is that when I see the faded faces of Danny, Donnie, Joey, Jordan, and Jon on that blanket, I feel happy and remember the joy of being a 13-year-old Blockhead, dreaming of the day when I'd be BFFs with NKOTB. Oh yeah, and when Donnie Wahlberg would fall in love with me. (Still waiting on both of those, come to think of it! LOL.) It's my Happy Blanket...and that's all I need to know.

I Love...IKEA.

Someday, I will have an "IKEA" house. And it will be wonderful.

Good job, thank you very much, amen!

IKEA in Milan. Awesome!

I Love...The Kickstand Queen!

I love me wee puppy, Olivia (aka The Kickstand Queen). As I've mentioned before, I never really considered myself a "dog person" (or even a "pet person"). I like animals...but I never imagined myself with a pet in my house as an adult.

Cue Olivia stage left.

Following the preparation by Simon "You are My Human" Geilman, a Maltese dog who ruled his domain and trained me to love being his human (LOL), all Olivia had to do was look at me with those yittle puppy dog eyes and it was over. And after seeing her "kickstand" leg and hearing about her previous life PM (pre-Me) where she was abused (one of her owners kicked her in the face and broke her jaw, so now her snout it crooked) and then abandoned with 31 other dogs in a house where she had to fend for herself... yeah, I didn't stand a chance!

It's been an adventure (which I love) having Olivia live with me. She's training me well. Wish I could say the same thing about training her!

Over the last 10 months, her health has declined dramatically, thanks to an autoimmune disease that attacks her joints, the arthritis in her hips, and the cancer growing in her stomach (which is a side effect to the strong pain meds I give her every morning). "Going for a walk" means I pick her up in my arms and carry her outside to a grassy area in my townhome area so she can "do her job" something she does with much difficulty and pain. I worry everyday about her--how much pain she's enduring and whether I'll come home from my office or wake up in the morning to find her expired. And there is much anxiety I feel as I try to make her life as comfortable and as happy as possible.

But there is much joy. I love Miss Olivia.

I love her little waggy tail greeting me when I get home in the evenings.  

I love that she will scurry behind my leg during a fireworks display or a thunderstorm--that she knows I will protect her.

I love that she will lick my hand (or face...or foot...or ankle...or arm...or face...or...) and wag her tail at me when we get up in the morning.

I love the way she sounds like Wilbur the pig when she's sniffing around on the floor for extra bits of food.

I love that she follows me around the house and that she just wants to be near me (not too close, mind you, but within a few feet--just to make sure that I'm not going anywhere.)

I love that she rolls over onto her back so I can "do MY job," i.e. rub her belly.

I love her gumption: even now, when she's in excruciating pain, she still tries sometimes to get up or down a few stairs, something that is extremely painful and difficult for The Kickstand Queen.

I love how when she "runs," it looks like she's doing the bunny hop.

I love that I can always tell when she's asleep because she snores. Loudly. (grin)

I love that she allowed (imperfect) me to bring her home and attempt to take care of her.

I love that she's taught me what it's like to love something/someone sooooo much that all I want to do is do what's best for her--what will bring her happiness (if dogs feel that...?) and will help her feel safe and comfortable.

Yeah...I'd say I'm whooped! LOL.

I Love...a Harley!

One of the greatest sounds in the world? The guttural sound of a Harley Davidson's engine. Whenever I hear that beautiful sound, I pause and put my hand over my heart in reverence. Someday I will have my very own Harley. Someday!

I Love...Dr Pepper

Me and the good Dr don't always get along. But he sure is helpful--and a tasty alternative to Excedrin--when I have a migraine!

I Love...The Mountains

And here we have Idaho...winning her way to fame....

I Love...Aloha!

One of my mission companions, Sister Selu, used to say, "Girl, you soooo brown on the inside!" I think it's true. I have a deep affinity for all things Polynesian. (Maybe that is why I also love flip flops, yeah?) From the shaking my hips doing the traditional dances of Polynesia...to vacationing in beautiful Hawai'i...to wearing Island apparel...to wishing I could play the uke'le'le...to some of my favorite people in the world (they are brown, haha).

Teaching some young women how to hula at Girls' Camp

With Amy and Judy at BYU-Hawai'i

Talofa!

At Sam Choy's in Honolulu with Auntie Ipo and Judy

Malo e lelei, indeed!

At "home" (according to Sister Selu...) 'cuz my skin is "so dark" -- LOL

Oh we're go-ing, to a Hukilau. A Huki-, Huki-, Huki-, Huki-, Hukilau!

Surprised by the wave. (Don't know if you can see, but I'm totally drenched!)

With my Mom at PCC in Laie

I Am...A Little Bit Ghetto

Pretty fly for a white girl, huh?

Most people wouldn't know it, but underneath this attractive, conservative exterior is a hip hop honey waiting to get unleashed! One of my favorite things is to get out on the dance floor and watch the jaws drop as they realize that a white girl can move like that! LOL.

I don't know if it's because I lived for many years as one of the few Caucasian people in my neighborhood in South Milwaukee (pronounced Muh-wah-key, thankyouverymuch), or if I was just born this way...but this is how I am.

(Needless to say, the peeps in the Idaho and Utah weren't sure what to do with me. I'm used to that by now!)

With Dave Spencer at a Halloween par-tay

The Hip Hop HoneyZ with Betty Crocker

Holla!