Grateful List, Part 1

I've found that when I'm in a funk, that a good way to get me out of it is to start a "grateful" list. So, here goes!

• I am grateful to be in NYC.
• I am grateful for air conditioning, especially on a muggy day like today.
• I am grateful for running water and indoor plumbing.
• I am grateful for cold water to drink on hot NYC days.
• I am grateful that I have food to eat.
• I am grateful to have a laptop that works.
• I am grateful to have access to the Interwebs.
• I am grateful that I can read and write.
• I am grateful for IM conversations with my best friends.
• I am grateful for any and all communication with my beautiful sister.
• I am grateful for walks to the clean bodega with KShum.
• I am grateful I have a place to sleep.
• I am grateful to breathe.
• I am grateful that I am able to learn and for plentiful opportunities to learn and grow.
• I am grateful for fun times with KShum.
• I am grateful that I haven't seen any mice since KShum installed the plug-in thing.
• I am grateful I have clean clothes to wear.
• I am grateful for all of the generous things KShum does for me (too numerous to list right now).
• I am grateful that my friend Shandy is coming to visit on Friday.
• I am grateful that my bank account is currently above $0.00.
• I am grateful that I have scriptures and inspiring messages to read every day.
• I am grateful to pray.
• I am grateful for second chances.
• I am grateful for the Atonement and repentance.
• I am grateful for friendships of awesome people I admire, people who love and care about me even when I don't see them for a while.
• I am grateful for good parents.
• I am grateful for friends.

Charts and Graphs: A Nerd's Guide to the Universe

Last week as I was finishing up my report for my contract work, I worked on some fun charts and graphs. It reminded me (yet again) how nerdy I am--and how I love that about myself. I love presenting data in a visually interesting way and creating fun, vibrantly-colored visual aids. In fact, when I was much younger, I went through a phase when all I wanted to be when I grew up was a worker at Kinko's so I could design and print cool things on various textures and weights of paper and other materials. (Yes, the nerdiness goes back a looooong time, my friends!)

So this clip of Marshall from How I Met Your Mother sings a happy song to my nerdy little heart. I dedicate this to all of you data nerds out there everywhere. You know who you are.

P.S. This is sooooo something I would do! LOL!

 

If you were to include charts or graphs in YOUR story, what would they represent about you and your life / interests?

"I Think I'm Going Crazy, Dennis. I Really Do."

I've been thinking a lot about happiness and joy lately--specifically about how they relate to each other and how we as humans can experience more of these in our lives.

Y'all know that generally I'm a happy person and a delight to be around most of the time (if I do say so myself...and I do, haha), and that I'm more likely to be found laughing and having fun than being serious--which is why my blog is full of funny, quirky things because that's a big part of who I am.

There's more than that to me as many of you know; I often find it challenging, however, to express my intuitive side because what I feel isn't as easily discernible (even by me) or discuss-able (if that's a word).

As I continue to ponder on happiness and joy, I return to a few quotes about this subject because I feel they speak to my current situation quite well:

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.
— Mahatma Gandhi

Happiness and joy come only when we are living up to who we are.
— Sheri Dew

Though I have experienced (many!!!) moments of happiness here in NYC and know in a way that I can't adequately explain that I need to be here right now...I realized that I'm not happy because what I think and feel (my intuition) are not in harmony with I'm saying and doing--but I don't know how to fix it! My intuition (or soul or spirit, whatever you want to call it) knows so much more than I can even utter...and not being able to get to the place where what I think/feel/know can be manifested in what I say/do is, pardon my New Yorker language, hell.

Hell with a capital H and the double hockey sticks and all that.

Hell because I know what I need to do but feel powerless to do anything to get there.

Hell because I feel impotent and, well, just cuh-ray-zee (crazy) with a capital C.

In sum, I'm unhappy because I'm not living up to who I am--and I feel helpless to change my current situation (and I've tried...for months and months!).

This entry doesn't really have nice bow to wrap up what I've been saying (partly because I don't have any bows or wrapping paper of any kind with me in my 2 suitcases' of material possessions here in NYC) but mostly because the problem is still that: an unsolved problem.

I guess more than anything, I just needed to talk "and try to get it out."


I think one of the challenges about telling our own stories is that they are being written as we go. Which is a wonderful adventure, yes...but it can also be a frustrating experience to patiently wait for the next pages to come off the press.

How do you reconcile yourself with the thrilling, sometimes frustrating adventure of your story in progress? 

When you feel stuck or not in harmony with your intuition (where your gut says you should be / be doing), how do you get UNstuck?

Catching up: Couching a Tender Mercy

On my third day in NYC back in May, I had an interview at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) Employment office. To say that I was emotional that day would've been a complete understatement: I'd been through...well, quite a bit to even get to NYC. And there I was, finally in the Big Apple as I'd felt for soooo many months that I needed to be, but still uncertain what the #$%@ I was doing there and how I'd survive. (Still don't know the answer to the latter...but that's for another post.)

So when I walked into the foyer of the building where the LDS Employment office was located (the Union Square chapel is in the same building) and saw this familiar-looking couch--one that I've probably seen in dozens of LDS churches all over the world--I almost cried. No, wait: I did cry! I never thought that seeing a green floral print couch would be such a tender mercy. Yet, it was for me on that Friday; it was just what I needed to give me a little boost to keep going a little bit longer. And for me, that couch was a little "love note" from Heavenly Father telling me that He knew where I was and what I needed.

A green floral tender mercy

What familiar objects have meaning to YOU?

TV MFM (Television Made for Me)

If I could create a fabulous television series just for me, I'd include the following elements:

• characters with accents (especially those from the UK)
• science fiction / fantasy
• humor--and lots of it
• action and more action (a la Bourne trilogy)
• great acting by the cast
• well-crafted episodes that reference to previous episodes and foreshadow future events (basically, great storytelling!)
• and something so unbelievable that I could suspend reality and actually believe it.

Surprisingly, all of that is found in the he BBC television series Doctor Who. I've only watched the post-2005 regenerated (pun intended) series, so I don't know everything there is to know about the whole of Doctor Who-dom and am not quite ready to go to ComicCon dressed as a Dalek and I won't go around brandishing a sonic screwdriver. Notwithstanding, what I've watched so far, I've loved.

Doctor #10 David Tennant is by far my favorite Doctor primarily because he has some of the best lines, like this one!

And this schtick! ROTFL!



If you could create a television series just for YOU, what elements would you include? Who might star in it? What would the plot be? Special features?

Catching up: Scrapple in the Big Apple

Can I buy a vowel?

Whilst grocery shopping a few weeks ago in NYC, I noticed a packaged food called scrapple.Turns out, it's a spam-like substance with Pennsylvania Dutch origins (called "pon haus" by them). Leave it to those Germans to utilize every piece of an animal in their cooking and make it a "delicacy." Those resourceful Germans!

Now that I know what scrapple is, I'm more convinced that I will never be putting this in my shopping cart.

Catching up: Talking S'Mac

To celebrate my arrival in NYC back in May, KShum took me to this awesome restaurant called S'Mac, purveyors of numerous varieties of macaroni and cheese (Judy's kind of restaurant, yes?), including a delicioso gluten-free version which I quite enjoyed. I thought I'd lost my pictures from that outing; turns out that I'd emailed the pictures to myself, to an account that I rarely use. I found them last night and thought I should post them now before I forget about...oh look, shiny!

Wait. What was I talking about?

Oh, yes. S'Mac. Fabulous place! Loved it!

My favorite number

Gluten-free mac 'n cheese at S'Mac

Look at that yummy, bubbly cheese!

Sometimes A Nerd Just Wants to Belong

Do you ever feel like Moss--wanting to "fit in" with a certain crowd at work, in your neighborhood, etc? 

How do you change your story to feel included with this group? And how does changing your story make you feel about yourself...and about the people in the group?

My New NYC BFFs

For youth conference, my girls and I stayed at the Orton's house up north in Inwood (close to the Bronx). They were so kind and very hospitable, especially considering that each night we arrived late and left early the next morning.

The first night we arrived, 3 of the Orton children greeted us as we exited the elevator on their floor and wanted to know everything about us. Sister O (who, btw, is 3 years older than I am...again, feeling old!) met us with Lily, their young daughter with Down syndrome, and welcomed us into their home. And guess who became my first best friend forever (BFF) in that house? Yep. Lily! She sat on my lap, tugged on my hand to follow her to play in her room, got angry when any of the other children started to talk to me, and so on. I was enamored with her, and she with me.

Later, however, I had another new BFF in SJ, a bright, talented, 10-yr-old girl with lots of energy. She sat next to me at the table during a brief time when Lily had wandered off. SJ saw my claddagh ring and asked if it was a different kind of CTR ring. I told her about the symbols of the claddagh and what it meant worn on the right hand versus the left. When I mentioned it being worn on the left hand and that someday when I get married I would like to have that as my wedding ring, she asked me seriously, "But aren't you too young to get married?" Her comment made my day! I laughed and told her that it was very sweet of her to think that I was one of the youth, but that I was actually their leader and was her mom's age. SJ told me I didn't "look as old as a mom" (LOL). How old are moms supposed to look?, I wonder.

SJ then asked if I'd like to see the drawings in the room she shares with her siblings. Wow! That little girl is very talented! What impressed me more than even her drawings (which were awesome) was what she had on her wall: pictures from The Friend magazine, sayings from inspiring leaders, and short paragraphs of stories she read in The Friend that she rereads to herself every day so she can remember to be kind to her siblings and other people. And this girl is only 10 years old!

The last night we stayed with the Orton family, we arrived too late and left too early the next morning to see the kids (they'd already gone to bed), so we didn't get to say goodbye. But SJ left us a drawing! Isn't it great?

SJ's picture for us

The Fountain of Youth

I spent most of last week as the "ma" (i.e., female leader) of a group of about 7 young people who attended the New York LDS stake's youth conference.

Youth conference was awesome. And exhausting. And fun. And did I mention tiring? I don't have the stamina of teenagers: all of the late nights, VERY early mornings, and lots of trekking all over Manhattan is too much for an old person like me. Yet, I was blessed with the strength to keep going...until I could stop. And then I slept for a LONG time.

There were about 70 young people who attended, split into 10 "families" each with a female leader (aka "ma") and a male leader (aka "pa"). Except for Friday night when we camped out at Inwood Hills park, we stayed over at other homes--all the boys going with the "pa" to one apartment, and all the girls in the family going with the "ma" to another place. I'll share with you in another post some of my experiences staying with my girls at the Orton family's apartment in Inwood.

Me with David (my 1st partner) and all the "kids"

Some interesting bits from the past week ('cuz there is too much, lemme sum up):

• Being around all of the youth (ages 13 to 17) made me feel young again. And as I focused on serving them, I forgot about my problems. What job search? What diminishing bank account?
• Seeing so much of Manhattan! Roosevelt Island, Times Square, Union Station, Central Park, Inwood Hills park (the place where the Hudson and the East rivers meet--which looks like it should be in upstate New York, not in Manhattan), Grand Central Station, Wall Street, and so on.
• Assisting the youth in my family as we did baptisms for the dead in the Manhattan temple. I got to be the towel girl and provide towels to each of the youth as they exited the font--and I received quite a few wet hugs. Very special.
• Providing the content for genealogy classes (including the handouts and Power Point presentations) and then seeing the 5 youth facilitators teach the others about how to research their ancestors. Incredible!
• Helping my group register to use new.FamilySearch.org...and noticing that most of them were born the year I graduated from high school. (That made me feel VERY old!)
• Associating with the other leaders and finding some kindred spirits and other quirky people like me.
• Dancing on a boat cruise around the East River. 'Nuff said.

Sunset from the deck of the boat. You can see the Statue of Liberty and other boats in the river. Pic taken by Christian, one of my "kids."

When Things Don't Go As You Planned

When things you've been planning for ages don't go as you planned, how do you act / react? How do you feel about yourself? 

Does it make you want to run and hide (like Moss tries to do)? To where do you run when you feel like this? What or who can help you stop hiding / running?

O, Canadian Jason!

And who could forget this classic coming-of-age tale of a young Canuck? Riveting. I was on the edge of my seat as we waited for the Village Elders to make their decision. A nail-biter!

Love ya, JOler!

O, Canada: Part 3

Some classic bits from How I Met Your Mother about Canadians and all things Canada.

Enjoy, eh?

O, Canada: Part 2

More Corner Gas fun. (SIGH. Oh how I love this show!)

O, Canada!: Part 1

In honor of Canada Day (that's today for all of you non-Canucks), I'm going to be posting some of my favorite Canada themed clips.

The first ones are from (of course) Corner Gas.