Lesson Learned in NYC: Stay on the Train!

Last week when I was on the A train heading from the airport to KShum's casa in Harlem, I almost got off the train because I wasn't sure if I was on the right train. See, I'd done this whole AirTrain to the A train journey before when I visited NYC in January, and I felt confident that I could do the whole thing again without a hitch, so I didn't even bother asking for directions: I confidently (maybe arrogantly?) boarded the A train with my luggage and set off.

Last time I was here, however, I made a stop at KShum's office, which necessitated switching trains (C or B or D...I can't remember); that memory started messing with my sleep deprived mind and I started to panic. What if... I should've switched trains? What if... I was on the wrong train and would end up in a bad part of town? What if... The scenarios kept playing out in my tired brain, fed by the rising fear because I didn't recognize any of these stops and couldn't see the map to know where we were and where the train was going.

The panic continued to pervade my mind; several times I inched my way closer to the metro doors in case I needed to make a quick exit. But every time I decided in my brain that I was going to get off at the next stop, a peaceful voice told me to just hang on--that I was on the right train and I'd see the signs of this soon enough.

Thankfully, that peaceful voice won out and I didn't get off the train. The A train was the train I needed to take all the way to KShum's apartment; I just wasn't confident about my decision-making paradigm and its possible effects on my safety.

Lesson learned: If you get on the train in life that you know you need board, stay on it. Stay on it even when you're entering unfamiliar territory. Stay on it when you doubt yourself and you want to turn back. Stay on it and trust God to get you where you need to be, when you need to be there. He knows the way. Let Him take you there. "Cast not away therefore your confidence..." (Hebrews 10:35 -- see also the speech by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland from 1999 of the same name.)

You hear that, Self?!?!!?

One Direction: OMG! It's Me 21 Years Ago!

So...there I was, leaving the Trader Joe's (the IKEA of grocery shopping, btw) and walking a few blocks north to find a food truck (it's what's for dinner) and then to catch the 1 train when my contemplation was interrupted by screeches from pre-teen girls. I looked up: across the street was a queue of girls wrapped around a local theater, and outside of this theater were the members of One Direction (yeah, I wasn't quite sure who they were either, so I looked them up here) being interviewed by MTV.

My first thought was, "That soooo would've been me 21 years ago screaming for NKOTB and Donnie Wahlberg." I chuckled as I walked past the queue, especially at the girls I saw crying. Perhaps I'm heartless, but I've never understood, even at the zenith of my New Kids on the Block obsession, why a girl would start crying over a pop group. Crying? That's...odd. I don't understand that response...but then again, I'm not really a crying kind of girl--you know, except when I have ALLERGIES and all that.

Welcome to NYC

Well...I'm here. In NYC. It's a miracle!

I spent most of today taking a nap because I didn't sleep at all on the jetBlue flight here (could've been the Dr Pepper I had with Treeshka at dinner about an hour before I boarded the plane...). I found my way here (thank you, A train!) and somehow had the strength, despite the sleep deprivation, to haul my suitcases (plural) and backpack up the 3 7,000 stairs from the metro platform. And that was me packing "light"!

It's good to be here. Not sure what's going to come of this trip / move / who-knows-what-I-should-call-this. Nevertheless, I'm here.

Adele 101: An Open Letter

To My Family and Friends:

I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately; I realized some very important things about myself. Because I value my relationship with you and want you to better understand me, I share with you a few key points about me that I hope will enlighten you about who I am and about my decision-making paradigm. (See the movie Sahara for a very funny quote about that....)

1. I love you.
The signature Adele-ism is love. Even if I go months without seeing or talking to you, the love I have for you is constant, unchanging. My heart has a great love-bearing capacity: I'm not even at 15%! :)

2. At my core, I am a spiritually connected being.
The Divine is my energy Source. I know that for religious or spiritual people, that seems like a "duh" statement. For me, however, it goes much deeper, to the cellular level. In all things I do I  lead from my spirit, I seek to connect to the Spirit, and I act in accordance with what I feel in my spirit. Ultimately, for me my spiritual "logic" (aka faith) supersedes what I can perceive with my brain's "logic."

3. I am highly intuitive and high-energy.
Not only do I seek spiritual connections (within and without myself), I also am highly intuitive and process situations quickly; and once I know something, I want to take all of the ideas/inspiration I've received and do them all right now (the "go big" attitude). Sometimes my decisions and quick action can be perplexing to you; it may appear that I'm not thinking things through or that I'm being too hasty to jump all in to something so quickly. The truth is, I never make a decision, especially one with significant consequences, without first wholly considering every reasonable facet. Most often this happens quickly and I know through intuition what needs to occur. (The struggle then for me is to believe my intuition and move forward and/or figure out HOW to do what my intuition says is best for me.)

I am weathering a tumultuous time in my life where I am dramatically changing the entire course of my life. ("Go big or go home," right?) Daily I am terrified, and daily I question whether I am strong enough and connected enough to make these gargantuan decisions. I need your love and support now more than ever. I know that what I do or what I may decide in the future to do might cause you to say "What the crap!?" and wonder about my sanity.  Please, please trust that I am not making any of these decisions lightly. Please trust that I have thought and struggled enough with these decisions to know what is right for me--and what is right for me may not be right for you.

The last 6+ months have been harrowing for me, and I know that there is more opposition and harrowing to come as I continue forward. Your love and support would help me better weather the storms ahead. (I know it shouldn't matter to me as much as it does...but it does.) To this end, I've shared with you three key insights to understanding me. I hope what I've shared will help.

Thanks for your love and support.

Love,
Adele